Tag Archives: jesus

All about Eve

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For some time I’ve been wondering why religious nutjobs (a.k.a. Young Earthers and other religious literalists) are so dead-set against evolution. For a long time I thought it was just because they are stupid. Well, although their belief certainly is stupid, it turns out that they have no other choice.

You see, ‘Original Sin’ is an important concept of Christianity. It means that all humans are automatically guilty of sin, and need to believe in God/Jesus to be saved. According to Genesis, Adam & Eve rebelled against God, making everyone who descends from them a sinner. And the Bible teaches that all humans descend from Adam and Eve.

Now, modern evolution estimates that 60’000 years ago, when modern humans emerged, the population was around 2’500 individuals of mixed ancestry. This means that humanity does not descend from a single couple, but a much larger pool of individuals.

So? Is it of any importance if there was one or one thousand Eves?

Yes.

The concept of original sin only makes sense if all adams and all eves disobeyed god – at the same time.

Nevermind, a pragmatist may say – so Original Sin is out, lose it. We good?

Nope. That’s where the nutjobs run into a problem: Jesus allegedly died to save us from Original Sin. If we drop it, his death was rather pointless, if not downright stupid.

If you ask me, that may be the reason he returned three days later.

Jesus the Wuss

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On a recent occasion, I attended dinner with a (distant) relative. She’s a full-on believer, and unfortunately equipped with the desire to spread the happy news of Jesus the Savior. Knowing this, I studiously tried to avoid the subject of belief. But, apparently, there is no rest for the assumed wicked. I wasn’t quite done pouring her some water when she fired her first broadside:

You know, Jesus just wants to save you

At the time I ignored her; I started pouring wine for me.

But in retrospect I have to admit: I don’t get it. Let’s consider “Jesus wants to save you”. That’s indeed awfully nice of him. But seeing that he’s supposedly omnipotent, why doesn’t he just do it? God didn’t sit around and tell the universe at large: “you know, I’d really love to create mankind” – no. According to scripture he just bam! did it. Mucho macho style. So he can do it. If Jesus loves me so much, and wants to save me, why the hesitation? Why all the dicking around for millennia with just talk and no walk? If I see someone drowning I (hopefully) won’t be standing around yelling ‘I’d love to save you’ – I’d take action. It’s the moral thing to do.

So if Jesus really wants to save me he should stop talking and start chalking.

Pop Quiz

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Here’s a nice one to ask bible-thumpers after they quote the bejeezus out of your patience:

According to holy scripture, who is this:

He was called the son of God, born of a virgin, performed miracles, raised the dead, had disciples, was crucified, then resurrected after three days, and was worshipped 1000 BC?

The answer: indistinct. It could be both Mithra and Horus.

It could also have been Krishna – if we moved up the ‘worshipped’ date to 400 BC.

Jesus, you’re killing me…

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FOX Anchor Bill O’Reilly has written a new book. After ‘Killing Lincoln’ and ‘Killing Kennedy’, another bestseller is hitting the shelves. This time, however, it was contract work: in an interview on Norah O’Donnel’s 60 Minutes, he explained that God himself told him to write it, and even dictated the tile: ‘Killing Jesus’. O’Reilly is lucky that he and God share the the same fondness for the word ‘killing’. Then again, from God that was about to be expected.

According to O’Reilly, in this new book he took it upon himself to correct the ‘few’ items that were wrong in the bible (by which he means the New Testament. Well – actually he’s only referring to the Gospels). Being a Catholic himself, he stated that the book is not a religious book: “There is no religion in the book – nothing”. He might be right about the ‘nothing’ bit. O’Reilly wants his book be known as an “accurate account of not only how Jesus died, but also the way he lived.” In other words: a prequel to the DaVinci Code.

The whole 60 Minutes segment is incredibly watchable – if only to see Norah O’Donnel valiantly trying to keep a straight face.