Tag Archives: stupid

That’s gotta hurt: Darwin Award for Priests

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For deeply devout priests, belief in their own religion can become lethal.

In one case, Pastor Franck Kabele read so many bible pages that his faith got the better of him, and he believed that Matthew 14:29 was something he could do as well: walk on water. And so he gathered his flock and told them that he was going to cross a large body of water on foot, and drowned.

In another case a self-described Prophet thought that he could pull off the same stunt David did in the den of lions, only to become a brief afternoon snack for said lions.

Merriment ensues when devout idiots comment that ‘you should not tempt god’ or, even better, that ‘their faith wasn’t strong enough’. Here’s a hint: If you think you can walk on water or lie with lions, your faith is strong enough. Your intellect isn’t.

To add insult to (deadly) injury, what we see here is Evolution at work. Both mental midgets perished before they could pass on their genes. They are due a Darwin Award nomination.

Or as we see it: Evolution 2 – Religion 0

Hitler, Mao and Stalin went into a bar…

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Of course, some devout Christians have nothing better to do than bring up Stalin, Mao and Hitler when they corner an atheist at an impromptu new years eve party.

“You know, no religion killed more people in the past century than atheism: Hitler, Stalin and Mao killed more than 100 Million”

[that thumping sound in the background are a million atheists collectively banging their head against the wall]

So stupid – and that’s after disregarding the ‘Atheism is a religion’ blunder.

Interestingly, a religious friend who overheard the remark intervened with the following observation:

“That’s like saying since 98% of all criminals in Europe are religious, 98% of all crimes are committed because of religion.”

Halleluhja!

A belated christmas miracle. And a not-so-subtle reminder to me that not all religious people are stupid.

Happy new year everyone, and may the facts be ever in your favor!

The human right to be welcome

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Swiss national Abdel Azziz Qaasim Illi (a.k.a . Abu Nusaybah, birth name Patric Jerome Illi), leading member of the ‘Islamischer Zentralrat Schweiz’ (IZRS) was barred from entering Canada where he wanted to attend the ‘Reviving the Islamic Spirit’ conference. Why wasn’t he allowed to travel to Toronto? Well, details are still sketchy, but it’s a safe bet that being a member of the fundamental islamic IZRS has something to do with it, along with the fact that some countries (USA, New Zealand) regard him as a hate preacher.

According to Swiss News, Illi was ‘surprised’ to find himself declared persona non grata in Canada. Furthermore, Illi feels that

not being allowed to travel to any North American destination [Illi is also barred from entering the USA] is a violation of the basic human right of freedom to travel

As with other interesting interpretations of human rights, Illi offers up a very peculiar view of what that human right means – a view that almost perfectly mirrors his interpretation of religious freedom: that he may go wherever he wants. But that is not what freedom to travel is about. Just like freedom of religion means that people have the right to refuse your religion, freedom to travel means that although you have the right to travel, it does not give you the automatic right to be welcome everywhere, nor the right to impose your presence upon others. Although you may depart whenever you like, your destination has the right to refuse you. You can travel – but only to destinations where people want you.

There is no human right to be welcome.

If you have overstayed your welcome before you arrive you may be doing something wrong.

Effing Elfing Idiots!

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In a brilliant move to show how silly superstition can have real, tangible impact on everyone, a prankster group calling themselves ‘Friends of Lava’ and posing as ‘Elf advocates’ prevented a highway project in Iceland. They successfully argued that the proposed highway would

disturb the elf habitat, including an elf church.

Sheer brilliance. Can you imagine a more absurd reason to prevent new infrastructure? And using Elves – nicely played! They have a big role every Christmas – as everyone knows they build the toys in Santa’s Workshop. But it’s the Elf Church that really sells it.

This article almost wrote itself, and I was thoroughly enjoying myself – until I found out that the Friends of Lava weren’t joking.

Oklahoma Mike and the Temple of Doom

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Meet Indiana Jones’ smaller, slower sibling: Dr. Mike Ritze from Oklahoma.

Dr. Mike (R-Broken Arrow, no joke) was instrumental in setting up a privately funded monument depicting the Ten Commandments on the lawn outside Oklahoma’s Capitol building. Quite illegally so, by the way, because the US Constitution strictly forbids this. But it seems that Oklahoma Mike and his fellow legislators thought a little well-intentioned disregard of law was not going to ruffle anyones feathers.

Of course it did.

Enter Satanic Temple, a recognized religion in the US. They want a share of the action, and notified the state’s Capitol Preservation Commission that they intend to donate a monument as well.

Now cue clown shoes and slide whistle as Oklahoma politicians manage to collectively put their feet in their mouths. Rep. Mike Reynolds, R-Oklahoma:

“The New York [Satanic Temple] group is trying to place a monument on the Capitol grounds for religious purposes and will be unsuccessful. The Ten Commandments monument, on the other hand, was put up for historical purposes”

That’s already weapons-grade stupid. But they can do even better:

“This is a faith-based nation and a faith-based state,”

said Rep. Earl Sears, R-Bartlesville. Ho boy, can you be more wrong? Being a political representative in the US you can’t – unless you go nuclear with One nation under god (pledge) or In god we trust (dollar bills).

These clowns really delivered the funny here. And that’s even without the spelling errors on the monument.

It’s not as if the satanists don’t know it. You can see their grin even here, across the pond. Lucien Graeves, Satanic Temple spokesman, managed to get out the following – without bursting into flames of pure Schadenfreude:

“He [Dr. Mike Ritze] is helping a satanic agenda grow more than any of us possibly could.”

And when asked what he’d do to make people less afraid of Satanists, he replied with delightful darkness:

“Some people will be put off by Satanism no matter how it is practiced. […] What we can do, however, is educate people so that they fear us for the right reasons.”

Quite.

Well, Dr. Ritze, didn’t you read the one about the road to hell being paved with good intentions? Looks like this time it is more literal than even the hardiest of the bible belt buckle believers could have imagined.

Or as we say: Karma is a bitch.

Mainly because we don’t believe in her.