Tag Archives: atheism

Religious Danegeld

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In the 12th century the Northmen (also called Danes or Vikings) took to the sea and plundered all over Europe. In England and France, some monarchs thought it prudent to pay a tribute instead of being plundered. This tribute was called Danegeld. Needless to say, it didn’t work well, and only served to prolong the problem. In the end, they had to fight a larger, vastly richer, better equipped, and deadlier enemy.

Today the press censors itself in the hopes of not arousing the ire of muslims. People are denied freedom of speech for the same reason. Governments look the other way when religious people ignore human rights and shadow law is practiced. Those responsible once again believe that they are being prudent, that they are taking the safe approach.

They are not.

Instead of drawing a line in the sand, they try to placate the barbarians at the gate. This will not work. Whenever governments curtail fundamental rights in the ‘interest’ of peace with an aggressive, hostile, morally retarded religion, they are repeating past mistakes.

They are paying religious Danegeld.

Operation Christmas Grinch

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Showing an innate aptitude for picking lose-lose situations, the American Humanist Association (AHA) has threatened legal action against public schools that participate in an evangelical Christian charity called ‘Operation Christmas Child’ that delivers Christmas toys to poor children.

Unfortunately, everyone involved looks stupid or loses:

  • The AHA (who usually inspires me) looks like a cross (ha!) between Ebenezer Scrooge and The Grinch, wanting to spoil a child’s Christmas on a technicality. 
  • The people collecting gifts look stupid because they allow themselves be roped into a missionary drive. 
  • The missionaries are exposed for using Christmas to force children into a superstition. 
  • World-class Stoopid: The parent who “was not aware of the Christian nature (of Operation Christmas Child)” — I mean come on! What do they think ‘Operation Christmas Child’ is? A pregnancy drive? 
  • Most of all: the impoverished children.

Of course AHA has an important point:

“The toys collected by Operation Christmas Child come with pledges to Christianity for its recipients to sign.”

This is the most reprehensible (albeit common) form of proselytizing: taking advantage of another person’s plight. How charitable is that? So AHA’s cause is just. It’s just that – like so often – I see fellow atheists wielding a broadsword where a scalpel should have sufficed. 

If I were of a superstitious belief, I’d now spout some metaphors about roads to unpleasantness being greased with goodwill.

Alas, I don’t want to come off as an ass myself.

At least no more than AHA.

The age of reason?

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In most civilized countries (and in the US) we have lots of rules. For example movies and games have an age rating. Anything that may be remotely dangerous to people requires a license and minimum age: to drive a car, drink alcohol, wield heavy machinery, own a dog, teach at a school, run a shop, go scuba diving; in some countries you need a license just to fly a kite.

Everything is regulated – except for the two most dangerous occupations: to breed, and to teach religion. A woman doesn’t need a license to become pregnant – but, strangely, may not abort without one; and any schmuck with a prayer book can teach his particular brand of crazy.

George Carlin once said: “I believed in God until I reached the age of reason”. His wry humor documents an untowardly fact: he was taught religion as a kid.

Why does a child have to be at least 13 years old to be allowed to watch a Harry Potter movie, but no-one intervenes when a preschooler attends a sermon where the priest can preach misogyny, hate, and homophobia on a regular basis?

In my book, religions are rated R; anyone under the age of 16 must not be exposed to the words of preachers and their holy scrolls.

Imagine you first encountered the Bible at age 16. You’d be more inclined to believe in Yoda than give credence to those stories.

Now ask yourself why that would be bad.

Then ask yourself who’d be most opposed to this, and why.

What not to say to an atheist

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Someone on the internet compiled a list of the worst things you can say to an atheist. While the methodology may not be scientific, it surely seemed spot-on. Reading the list, though, I was struck by an important realization: this wasn’t a list of things that would make an atheist angry. It was a list of things to avoid in order to not look ‘stoopid’ to an unbeliever. If all you want to do is really piss off an atheist, the classic ‘you know, Hitler was an atheist…’ usually suffices, or perhaps ‘Atheism is just another religion’. Both did not appear on that list.

On the list, ‘You are going to hell’ reigned supreme. Of course. Suppressing the reflex to grin pityingly at whoever says that is an essential survival skill for every atheist.

In second place was my personal favorite: ‘I pray for you’. This one atheists have a problem with not because it is a stupid thing to say (it is), but because of the conflicting emotions it elicits from us. We know it is meant in a kind, sympathetic way. But to an atheist, it is very much like the alcoholic uncle sincerely declaring that he’s drinking to your health. It makes us flinch in sympathy for you.

If you really want to do something for me, buy my book.

Nazis, and Guillotines, and Orgies! Oh my!

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Flying under the radar of of everyone’s IQ, US televangelist, budding diamond miner, and Wicked Witch of the West Pat Robertson has warned that atheists and humanists in Europe will bring back the Nazis and Guillotines.

“You know the liberals, the so called socialists, the progressives, they’ve moved away from God and when you move away from God then you say, ‘were humanists.’ Then as a result of humanity and rejecting God, you have the orgy of the French Revolution, you have the guillotine cutting off the heads of thousands of people, you have the same thing going on now in Europe, you had it under the Nazis”

Not very likely. Pat, unburdened by facts or reason, has confused cause and effect.

To bring back the Nazis and French Revolution, Europe first has to revert to higher levels of religion.

Stupid is as stupid does

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Under normal circumstances, if you managed to unite the Jewish, Muslim and Sikh communities behind a common cause, you’d be a shoe-in for the next Nobel Peace Prize. Unless, of course, you manage to unite them to picket your lawn. Bonus points for also managing to have the Christians sniping at you from across the street.

And this is exactly what happened in Quebec: the minority government run by the secular Parti Québécois (PQ) seems so accustomed to being the minority that they never realized that the minorities they antagonized Find phone , taken together, make up the majority of voters. And antagonize them they did.

As reported by Time, their proposed ‘Charter of Values’ contains language that would disallow too obvious religious symbols or garments to be worn by

“government workers and employees of institutions that receive public funds—from judges, school teachers and police officers to doctors and daycare staffers. A cartoonish graphic released last week illustrates the types of symbols that would be banned to them (Muslim head coverings of all kinds, skull caps, turbans and especially large crucifixes[…]). And the plan would also require all members of the public to uncover their faces when giving or receiving a state service, like applying for a driver’s license.”

To be clear about this: I think the underlying idea is ethically sound. It’s just that PQ handled this issue with all the grace, elegance and subtlety of a stampeding herd of elephants. It seems that, as a primarily secular party, the PQ strategists thought that the politically correct way to get rid of a real problem (burkas and head veils) was a shotgun approach: To evenly spread restrictions over all major beliefs. They probably thought that if everyone had to give a little, they’d be more likely to agree. It never occurred to them that everyone just might agree to give you the finger.

All this just goes to show that religious people don’t have a monopoly on doing something silly. PQ has shown that seculars can be just as monumentally stupid as the rest.

Well, at least we have something that unites us all.

Why you can’t become an atheist.

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A friend asked me how people become atheists. I think underlying her question was a worry that the atheistic condition could be contagious; a lingering concern for the spiritual well-being of her young children. In my presence, that is.

Well, I was able to put her mind at ease. Becoming an atheist, I told her, requires work. It requires an active mind, and the willingness to face difficult and uncomfortable questions. Her children are quite safe for the next few years, and so I still have an open invitation to their home this Christmas.

Yet, after reflecting upon the question, I now believe that even though I correctly described what is involved, ultimately, my answer was wrong. You can’t become an atheist.

You just stop being something else.

When you stop believing that there is a great bearded man in the sky, and provided you don’t pick up some other supernatural ideology, you have stopped being religious. Coincidentally, you are now an Atheist. The first was incidental, the latter is the consequence. Neither was something you actively did. Being an atheist is being not something. It’s not something you can do.

Yeah, that totally cleared that issue up.