Experience vs. Learnings

In an interview, Swiss National Councilwoman Barbara Schmid-Federer commented on her religious views:

As a child I experienced first hand what it means to be a member of the catholic minority in the reformed city of Zürich. That is why today I’m committed to supporting religious minorities. [translation: cf]

Aww, too bad. So close, but still a miss. Barbara did experience religious discrimination, but didn’t learn anything from it. Minorities of all kinds need support, no doubt. Yet, the reason for her past discrimination wasn’t the fact that she belonged to a religious minority – it was religion itself. Had she learned from her experience, she wouldn’t fight the symptoms. She’d fight the cause: religious indoctrination and intolerance.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition…

Fundamental believers seem to love to take it upon themselves to ‘defend the honor’ of their gods. Unfortunately, some use violence, while others use peaceful means of protest. None use intelligence, though, as an omnipotent being doesn’t need defending.

In the peaceful protest category we have Rev Brian McClung’s (whom I’ve already commented on the last couple of days). His tragicomic tilting at windmills reminds me of a similar quixotic case of protest against Monty Python’s Life of Brian. Initially, it was banned in Ireland (where McClung lives) and Norway – for Blasphemy. Monty Python responded by changing the tagline to ‘so funny that it was banned in Norway’

Fundamental Christians picketed the movie theaters to protest. As a response, interest in the movie spiked, making the movie an international commercial success.

Look how silly you look today if you were one of the protesters then.

Not to mention the fact that ‘Always look at the bright side if life’, the movie’s closing theme, was performed live to a worldwide audience at the closing ceremony of the 2012 Olympic Games in London.

Yeah, that silly.

Rev McClung’s speech (abridged)

Yesterday I commented on Rev Brian McClung’s protest against Reduced Shakespeare Company’s play The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged). The kerfuffle caused by the protest – not to mention the city council’s ill-advised attempt to ban the play – caused the performances to be sold out during their first days. Or, as the good reverend sees it:

Rev McClung described it as “perverse human nature” that the play had sold so many tickets since opposition was raised.

And so McClung took a stand, made his voice heard, electrified the crowd with his righteous defense of the honor of God’s word, and made sure that –

Police maintained a small presence but left before the play began.

Ouch.

Tempest – reduced to a teapot

So the Reduced Shakespeare Company wanted to stage their play The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged) in the town of Newtownabbey, only to find that the city council’s artistic board pulled their support after complaints from the Democratic United Party DUP. When the decision became public, the council pulled a 180, and allowed the play to go ahead.

Enter Rev Brian McClung of the Newtownabbey Free Presbyterian Church, who is also known for his protest against the 40th anniversary celebrations of the play Jesus Christ Superstar. I don’t know, but if you protest the 40th anniversary of something, you are pretty much 39-and-half years late. Anyway, as with his last protest, the good reverend is beside himself:

We are offended because people are mocking the scriptures and we are here to show our offense.

This reminds me of a quote from the great Christopher Hitchens:

If someone tells me that I’ve hurt their feelings, I say, ‘I’m still waiting to hear what your point is’

So a play mocks your scrolls. Don’t buy a ticket. It really is that easy.

Atheists are easy…

Many a believer thinks that debating with an atheist is easy – after all a religious person ‘believes’ that they know the truth: that this universe was created by their god(s), and it’s just a matter of showing this truth to the unbeliever. There’s always holy scripture to fall back upon (which the believer may have read), and if all else fails, there’s always Hitler. Debating atheists is easy.

Until, that is, they actually meet an atheist. Trying to convince these ungodly creatures can be a rude surprise:

  • unlike for the believer, chances are high that the atheist has read the Scripture – it’s usually why they’ve become atheists
  • most are usually just aching to pull out the issues of slavery, homophobia, genocide and misogyny. And you just gave them the perfect pretext.
  • they aren’t deterred by big words like ‘objective morality’, ‘first cause’ or ‘cosmological argument’; worse, many can counter with even bigger words.
  • they’ve also read other religion’s holy scripture and can quote choice passages that makes your religion look really bad. The ‘love’ Christianity preaches, for example, pales in comparison to that of Jainism.
  • they can point to intentional mistranslation (e.g. Metanoeite) or plagiarism (e.g. Golden Rule ripped off from Confucius) in your scripture
  • plus, most atheists break into that disconcerting grin when you mention Hitler, Mao or Stalin

It’s usually much easier just to tell them: ‘I believe because I don’t know what else to do’. That saves a lot of time.

It’s also more honest.

‘… the whole Bible’

Every once in a while, I encounter one of the most presumptuous, condescending, pompous, and ostentatious comments a Christian can make while arguing their belief:

To understand, you need to read the whole Bible.

I usually encounter it as a reply to a (perhaps snide) quote from the Bible I make. The comment is ostentatious because it insinuates that the one uttering it has read the whole Bible (usually it turns out that they haven’t). It’s presumptuous because it assumes I didn’t read that book in it’s entirety. It’s stupid because even after reading it, at least one of us hasn’t understood it – plus, it’s certainly news to the Jews who can make do with essentially only half of it: the Old Testament. And it is condescending because whoever says it believes that not only have they understood, they believe they have read the only correct version.

So why do people try this when they are forced into a corner? The comment is designed to stop the average Christian from further discussions: 99% of all Christians haven’t read the Bible. But why is it that so many Christians haven’t read the Bible?

Because it’s boring.

Most who try are already sound asleep long before all the begetting begins.

No more happy endings?

Recently I watched a movie depicting a dystrophic future. A line from one of the protagonists stuck with me:

There are no happy endings any more.

Ultimately, there never is, and never will be, a happy end. In the end, we will die. It has always been that way. There never were truly happy endings. People don’t like this, and they are afraid. That explains why so many people become religious: they crave a happy ending. But deep down they know perfectly well that there isn’t going to be one.

And so they play make-believe. They waste inordinate amounts of time preparing for the end. And doing that, they become miserable and miss the great time they could have had. When you obsess with your end, you quickly stop living and start dying. That’s the real tragedy. We all know that the end will come – but it will be neither happy nor sad. It will simply be the end.

Stop focusing on the end. Enjoy the brief time we have here before the end.

Live.

Achmed the dead killer question

Achmed the Dead Terrorist is an incredibly funny routine by world-famous ventriloquist Jeff Dunham. Achmed’s catchline is ‘I Kiiiiiiiiill you!’

That sketch reminds me of another funny routine, which – out of kindness – we should abstain from pulling on religious people (unless they seriously annoy us).

Ask a devout believer ‘would you kill me if your god commands it?’

Then either enjoy the uncomfortable silence while the poor believer tries to find a suitably equivocal answer – or run like hell (ha, ha) if the answer is an unflinching ‘Yes’: you just met a sociopath, or a member of the Westboro Baptist Church, which is pretty much the same.

Asking this isn’t nice because it poses a dilemma for the believer – who is usually a good person: a morally sound person would answer straight: ‘No. Killing is evil.’ Morally good, but devout believers try to wiggle out of this because it opens them up for questions of morality: if you refuse a command from your god you place your own moral compass above that of your deity. Plus, it acknowledges that you have your own moral – a moral that now significantly diverges from your god. That ripping sound? That’s either the pages from the bible or the fabric of the faithful’s worldview.

The equivocal answer is usually ‘if god commands it, it must be good. Therefore you must be evil, and I would be justified in killing you’ or ‘God would not command what is evil, so he would not command me to kill you’.

But these answers are also not helpful: the Bible tells the story where Abraham is commanded to sacrifice his son. Isaac wasn’t evil, yet God told Abraham to kill him – God was testing Abraham’s faith. We therefore have a precent. So, would you kill me if He commanded it?

A ‘Yes’ opens the hapless believer up for the meanest question:
How do you know it is God who is commanding you to kill, not some voice in your head or, perhaps, Satan? How do you differentiate between a voice you want to hear (God’s) and one you hope not to hear (Insanity, Satan’s)? How do you tell the difference between Insanity and God?

And again, would you obey?

Eric doesn’t know Jack

A few days ago I witnessed a – let’s be charitable – ‘attempt’ to prove the existence god. It’s central tenet went like this

You can only know anything if you know everything. But somebody who knows everything can tell you what’s true, and then you know that.

From this eventually we derive that you

  • can only know what an all-knowing God tells you
  • since you do know something, a God must have told you whatever you know
  • hence God exists.

At first I thought it was a joke – but it turns out to be the central idea of fundamental christian apologist Eric Hovind (son of ‘Dr. Dino’ Kent Hovind, scientific hyperfail – for some entertainment watch Phil Mason aka Thunderf00t’s deconstruction of Hovind Sr.’s theories – or here, here and here).

The logic behind Hovdind Jr.’s ‘thesis’, unfortunately, befits his lineage.

In logic terms it assumes two premises:

  • ‘you don’t know anything unless you know everything’, and
  • ‘someone who knows everything can tell you something that is true, and then you would would know that something.’

Unfortunately, this kindergarden-level attempt at proof presupposes two (rather important) additional items: God exists, and God knows everything. From this it is then ‘proven’ that only whatever God tells you can be true, and since you know something to be true, God exists.

Of course it follows that God exists if you first assume that he exists.

But even if we allowed for the silent presuppositions to be true (we now assume that God exists), this tragically inept line of reasoning still doesn’t work. First, the second premise is a direct contradiction to the first – once God tells you something, you can know something without knowing everything.

But again, we’ll let that slide. The logic still doesn’t hold water:
The problem with the second premise is exactly the problem every religion has with truth. We’ll walk through this one step by step:

Let’s assume you don’t know everything. By definition you therefore know nothing. Now an omniscient god comes along and tells you: ‘X is true’. Can we now say that you know that ‘X is true’?

By ‘Hovind Logic’: Yes. By rational thought: No.

Why not? God could have lied. So even though the omniscient being could tell you the truth Cell Phone Number Trace , you can’t be sure. Assertions do not replace proof. Assumptions aren’t proof. It’s one of the elemental aspects of Logic, and Hovind has yet to master that.

It’s almost impossible to believe that a grown man would spout this kind of nonsense just to prove the existence of his god. If anything, it makes it his god appear even less likely to exist than before.

On the other hand, it does make it easy to believe that Eric Hovind really doesn’t know anything. And it makes it obvious that his God hasn’t yet spoken to Eric. Or he’s is pulling a cruel joke on him

Becoming the Lord of the Flies…

An abominable fundamental Christian book on raising children – written by a pastor and his wife – advocates corporeal punishment using plastic hoses (because they leave fewer marks, but hurt as much as canes do), cold showers, exposure, and ‘a little starvation’ to train children to be as obedient as, well, trained dogs. The book is distributed by churches in the US.

Small wonder that a number of children have died as a result from parents that adhered too closely to this horrific book.

The book states that it’s our job to toughen up our children so they can face a cruel and heartless world.

That’s not our job.

It’s our job to make this world less cruel and heartless – for them and everyone else. Because one thing is certain: if there was a God, he didn’t bother to do so himself.