A new book called The true history of atheism and written by Nick Spencer was recently published. Writing for the venerable Slate, Michael Robbins reviewed the book. Unfortunately, Robbins chose to use this opportunity as an attack on atheism. Unfortunately, that is, for Michael Robbins, because he makes himself look like a pretentious idiot, to the delighted exhilaration of everyone – except Robbins.

The way Robbins paints atheists as idiots and condescending schmucks makes his text a laugh-out-loud treat to read. Here are some choice bits:

atheists weren’t always as intellectually lazy as Dawkins and his ilk.

Boom!, take that, Dawkins! I’m aware of the trappings of the argument from authority fallacy, but still want to mention that this comes from someone who’s education has been in literature, and who’s occupation is being a poet. I’ve read some Dawins and more of his ilk; even if his prose is lacking, and his alliterations few, this is the first time someone has accused him of intellectual indolence. For perspective I just read Robbin’s poem Alien vs. Predator and am slightly at a loss of words. It seems Robbins uses an alien interpretation of the word ‘intellect’ when referring to atheists.

Robbins then states

Several critics have noted that if evangelical atheists (as the philosopher John Gray calls them) are ignorant of religion, as they usually are, then they aren’t truly atheists.

Together with this:

[atheists] can’t be bothered to familiarize themselves with the traditions they traduce

Talk about intellectually lazy assertions. Most atheists relinquished their faith exactly because they investigated their belief and know far more about their ex-religion than most believers. But even if they didn’t, it’s like saying you must have studied the tooth fairy in order to disbelief her existence. Robbins’ comment is the quintessential Courtier’s Reply – that one needs to study dress design before being able to say that the Emperor is naked.
Finally, as every theologian will admit, all believers are atheists with relation to all other beliefs. Wouldn’t they therefore be as ignorant as Robbins accuses atheists are? Doesn’t that obvious flaw in reasoning reveal the intellectual insufficiency of the argument?

I love the ‘evangelical atheist’ pun, though. Nice one, John Gray!

Robbins continues

Christians have recognized the allegorical nature of these accounts since the very beginnings of Christianity. […] Science and religion ask different questions about different things.

Seriously? Accusing atheists of being lazy while not knowing (or feighning not to know) that more than 40% of all US Christians believe in a literal interpretation of that bible (meaning that for them, the Bible does make physical claims, like, for instance the whole universe was built in 6 days) is priceless. It’s so simple: if anything in a belief refers to anything factual, that belief treads on scientific ground. How can Robbins not understand? Does Robbins really think that Jesus rising from the grave was meant to be interpreted allegorically? Maybe he should ask, um, pretty frigging much any other Christian in the world about that? After all, that’s pretty much what Christianity is all about. What an idiot. This review would have been so much better if it were written for the Onion.

The article is click-baitingly subtitled

Atheists Used to Take the Idea of God Seriously. That’s Why They Mattered.

OK, so it is a cheap shot intended to generate views. But why is it such an effective click bait? Because most Atheists at some point in their life did take the Idea of God seriously. Then they became atheists.

Every atheist understands the ideology that represents belief in something supernatural. They all think the idea is ridiculous – but they fully understand just how dangerous that ideology is. That is why they take it seriously.

Plus, nobody likes to read they don’t matter any more.

Anyway, it is funny how Robbins is looking down his nose at atheists, saying ‘oh, you are not real atheists. They would know and respect believers. Because we have thunk long and hard about God. We wrote entire books. And poetry! We went to church each week, 12 miles, barefoot, in the snow, up-hill both ways, and liked it! You young whippersnappers are just lazy spoiled brats.’ He’s almost giving Monty Python a run for their money.

So let’s close this post with an entirely unnecessary ad hominem:

Richard Dawkins claims that religion “is a scientific theory,” “a competing explanation for facts about the universe and life.” This is—if you’ll forgive my theological jargon—bullshit.

Indeed, Bullshit is theological jargon. It’s used as a generic term to refer to religion. Does Robbins really try to claim that the first chapter of the Bible (Genesis), when written, was not an attempt to explain how this world came to be? And just what does he think that a science theory is except an explanation attempt for reality?

Please, Michael, leave science, logic and reason to the pros. You are better at poetry – and that’s not a compliment.