My name is Christian. I don’t believe in gods. This has, given occasion and my propensity do discuss religion, also given rise to some unfortunate misunderstandings: ‘But didn’t you just say that you are Christian…’ Likewise, the question ‘Are you Christian?’ presents me with an immediate dilemma, and (admittedly) a strong urge to make a pun where I really shouldn’t.

So just how do you introduce yourself if your name is the exact opposite of what you are? “Hi, I’m Christian, but not really?” will result in some raised eyebrows and more not-so-subtle backing away. Who wants to talk to a guy who isn’t really what he says he is?
Writing “I’m Christian but not a Christian” may be a clever line in print, but in a spoken conversation it isn’t.

On the flip side, it gives me a perfect introduction should I publicly speak on this topic. And the ideal opportunity to give soon-to-be parents some important advice: don’t give names to your children that reflect your beliefs. They have to live with it, and may come to regret it. Admittedly, I don’t resent being called ‘Christian’ – but if my parents had called me ‘Fürchtegott’ (German for ‘god fearing’, once a common name in Germany), I’m sure I’d have hated it – along with the beatings in the schoolyard such a name engenders. Just don’t do it. Keep religion out of names.