A court in Malaysia has ruled that ‘Allah’ is a trademarked term that must not be used by non-Muslims.

As reported by the BBC and Guadian, a completely unbiased court of three muslim judges ruled unanimously; the ruling was upheld by equally neutral chief judge Mohamed Apandi Ali.

In unrelated news, the definition of democracy still is ‘three wolves and a lamb deciding on what’s for lunch’.

Since ‘Allah’ is the term to refer to God in different faiths, non-muslim believers are strongly advised to trademark their own names for God and/or various holy figures.

Still up for grabs: ‘Virgin Mary’ (but not ‘Virgin’ by itself, as this belongs to a british individual), ‘Holy Ghost’, and, strangely enough, ‘Yahwe’ – in the case of Yahwe, however, the Jews explain that it’s become a generic term for God that can’t be defended.