Good News: Brunei to advance into Dark Age

More good news from the Gulf Region: Brunei is taking big steps to modernize their society. They are about to reach parity with the 8th century. Because everyone knows that the best things come from the Good Old Times that – for reasons unknown – are also called the ‘Dark Ages’.

Details are still sketchy, but here are the main points:

  • Dual laws!
    Because more is better, Brunei now has two sets of laws instead of one. Why would ‘One Law For All’ be something to aspire to, when it wasn’t implemented anyway? Taking a page from London with their Sharia courts, the Sheik has expanded on that idea. While neighboring Malaysia only made ‘Allah’ a trademark to be used exclusively by muslims, Brunei reportedly now went full-in with a separate law for muslims. How’s that for progress?
  • Severing limbs for theft! 
    This classic is finally back, and is sure to be a hoot in your neighborhood. Since capital punishment has been proven to be such an effective deterrent (see Texas, where murder is practically unheard of), it’s smaller sibling is now expected to end thieving once and for all.
  • Stoning for adulterers!
    Again a crowd favorite, the re-introduction of this punishment will finally ensure the fidelity of every muslim in Brunei. At the same time it is hoped that this will re-invigorate Brunei’s flagging stonemasonry trade.

Understandably, to make these important changes a reality, Brunei has postponed less pressing changes like implementing civil rights or baseline democracy. Reportedly, though, they are still on track for the next millennium.